If I have learned one thing living on a farm, it is this:
PLANTING...
HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH PLANTING.
I am completely serious, y'all.
Last weekend I set out to "plant" 12 lovely little 2' olive trees.
After 5 hours of sweaty, grueling digging,
and precisely measuring 3' around each tree,
and moving ten tons cartfuls of dug sod for the third time
to fill in lower parts of the back field,
and building pee-proof chicken wire cages staked into the ground,
so the lovely acrid stream of dog pee stays far, far away,
BECAUSE,
three dogs will run past 9 full grown pecan trees,
2 acres of green grass,
and miles and miles of tall weeds
with a full bladder
to "drop the dew from their lily" on one tiny olive tree.
After all that, I finally planted 5 of the 12 olive trees.
And...
It took all of 2 minutes
to set them in the hole and cover them with dirt.
The preparation of the task of planting is what just gets my proverbial goat.
It is not just with the olive trees, either.
{On to the ranting...}
It took 3 months to scrape the sod off my 60X20 garden,
add yards and yards of compost, and dig 12" down BEFORE I could
put a single seed measuring 1/32 of a millimeter into the lovely black dirt.
Don't forget what happens next...
Days and weeks of hand watering,
hours upon hours spent staring at the ground,
wondering if that green sprig is a vegetable or not,
and the absolute worst part of all...patiently painfully waiting,
and hoping to holy heck that all is well, 1/2 inch under the soil
for that tiny pinpoint of a seed to sprout.
Because,
the very last thing you want to discover,
is that all that time you spent in preparation for that tiny seed
to go into the ground was IN VAIN,
when 10 days later,
absolutely
NOTHING
that resembles
the seed
grows.
On a farm, every day is Mother's day for Mother Nature.
"They" say she knows best.
You can't argue with her,
and she can't be fooled.
(Ha! My own mother wasn't nearly as strict as this b*tch is!)
So, I will continue to be hornswoggled, duped, snowed and bamboozled
here on Le Farm.
If the only mother you have left to teach you a lesson, is Mother Nature,
then here's my unofficial unqualified advice;
"Put your big girl boots on
and take her hand in your muddy glove.
She will teach you all the lessons you'll ever need for farm life.
You won't be the least bit happy,
but you will be very, very wise."
Have a Happy Mother's Day!
