The demolition has commenced...a.k.a. "A bedtime story on Le Farm"...

Once upon a time, 144 years ago, a very skilled stone mason built a set of eight steps leading to the back door of a completely and utterly lovely southern home.  And, they served the family well for generations. Well worn by family, friends, farm workers
and a stray dog or two, these steps were built to last.

Until, one beautifully sunny southern day, the eight skillfully built cement steps became,

Eight slightly uneven, skillfully built cement steps...which became,

Eight slightly uneven, cracked, skillfully built cement steps...which became,

Eight slightly uneven, cracked, fire ant infested, skillfully built cement steps...which became,

Eight slightly uneven, cracked, fire ant infested, slippery-when-wet, skillfully built 

cement steps...which became,

Eight slightly uneven, cracked, fire ant infested, slippery-when-wet, unsafe high heel 

teetering, skillfully built cement steps...which became,

A broken back, both legs and arms broken, a cracked hip or two, humongous hazard 

just waiting to happen...to me.

(Ok...maybe not both arms and legs, but believe me, I've caught myself from a classic cartoon banana peel, both legs-in-the-air fall, saving a bottle of wine from crashing to smithereens on these very steps!)

I have also missed the door knob and saved myself from a flat out back dive,

And that was not pretty in the least...SO,
 as much as I hate having to start this project,
the demolition has commenced.

The moral of this story...

Nothing lasts forever.

Goodnight.
Sweet dreams...

Update on "Just say NO to wheat"...

It has been about 2 months...57 days to be exact, since a morsel, crumb or mouth-watering smell of wheat in all its delicious forms has entered my body.

Let's spell it out:

1. Inconvenience

Wheat related products are quick, easy and available for consumption 

everywhere you go.  I could easily pack a sandwich or get one on the go, 

grab a bad of pretzels or have a zillion types of crackers with my cheese in a little minute.

Surprise! That has all changed.  

Now I pack yogurt, 3 apples, cut cucumbers, individually wrapped cheese wedges, 

peeled carrots and a bag of some kind of nuts.  

Preparation and careful thought about my choices takes longer.

I've even figured out how to cook a "to-go" cup of oatmeal and blueberries for the road.

Peanut butter now goes on an apple slice or celery stick.  

Gone are the days of a really good PB & J.

...sigh

2.  More cooking and utensils to wash

I am now forced to cook...because many prepackaged items have wheat 

or wheat-like gluten. 

(And I don't believe in microwaves!)

It also seems that I'm washing more spoons than I have since I was a toddler on baby food. 

It's much easier to grab a spoonful of peanut butter or almond butter, since there is 

nothing handy to put it on. 

(Oh, and gelato or frozen yogurt by the spoonful...

 to help make me feel a little decadent and human.)

3. Eating less

Granted, I am eating less calories and ultimately less food, because I'm not nearly as hungry.

Here's the mantra...

The more gluten carbs in, the more gluten carbs in, the more gluten carbs in...

(A vicious circle that takes drastic measures to break, like jucing greens every morning.)

4.  Unthinkable energy levels

I'm sure my metabolism has changed.  I can feel it. 

The backpack of bricks has been removed from my body and so has 10#, so far.

I sleep better and wake refreshed.  I can do more hard work with less exertion.

I feel healthier without that bloated feeling and look thinner. 

Nothing bad about that!

For me, this had been a good decision.

There are benefits for my health.

and...

No judgment if it's not for you.

You can eat your crackers in peace.

Namaste.

A thistly, grisly, bristly ordeal...

T H O R N S...

Who needs them?
What is their purpose on earth?
Why, oh why do blackberries need them?
And why did I buy a farm, that had rows, that had bushes, that had blackberries, that had thorns? (Does this make any sense?)

Let's ask for a visual, shall we?

Before....imagine nine 40' rows of these thistly, gristly, bristly berries. As far as the eye can see, miles and miles of thorns if they were laid end-to-end. Horrific, really.

After....7 rows pulled up, yanked out and cut to the quick, leaving only the sweet, sleek wood of adjacent blueberry bushes.

All that is left are these 2 rows to be cut, mulched and salvaged as 1 short row of THORNLESS blackberries for years of delicious (and painless) propagation.

(I will spare you the torn flesh images that happened somewhere between before and after. Horrific, really.)

Selling yourself gets people buying...wait, that's not what I meant...better read on...

Selling isn't for everyone.

I'm sure you told yourself this last time you were forced to buy a car from a 
sleazy guy in plaid, 

"Thank God, I don't have to do that for a living!"

So, I say, being a sales gal is tough.

(Selling takes kahunas...)

Even for a farmer.

Really? "What's so hard about putting up a white tent and selling produce?", you ask.  

Let me tell ya...

It's having the art of C U S T O M E R   S E R V I C E...

selling yourself first and your produce second.

Ya gotta put yourself out there.

Whaaat? No way. No one cares about that when all they're buying is a bunch of carrots.

Au contraire...

They do care.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT GROW SELL.

Case in point...
Yesterday I went to an Arts and Crafts Festival.  There were vendors from all over the country selling jewelry, art, candles, forged iron, you name it. 
 It was the perfect venue to test my theory.  
Imagine paying big bucks to set up in a well attended 3-day event, only to sit back, letting people casually walk by without ever making eye contact, let alone any effort to interact with them.

Unbelievably, I witnessed this!  
(In fact, it was more often, than not.)
How in the world did these people make any money or meet their expenses to attend?  
They looked like they couldn't be bothered.

Well, neither could I.  
If they weren't excited about what they had, why would I be?
The only people that sold me anything were the ones engaging me in conversation about what they do, how they made what they made, what they brought as a special for the show, who asked ME questions, who took the time to talk...
 and sell themselves, first.

It doesn't take rocket science to be nice.
There may be volumes written about sales tactics and catchy 3-lettered abbreviations to describe them 
but there is a bottom line to all of it:
People buy from people.

This is a saying my esteemed colleague uses every day in his sales career.
And it works.

The sweet, no sweat Sweet Potato...

If I've learned anything, I've learned not to be surprised that every task on the farm involves sweat, sometimes blood,

 and insuppressible tears.

(And nobody's singing, "You've made me so very happy".)

No one in her (or his) right mind can deny that the word "farm' is more of an action verb than a noun.

My point being?

NOTHING comes that easy 'round here.

 And it's not the first time I've said that, just in case you're thinking,  "Good God...there she goes again..."

The truth is what it is. What can I say?

Nothing comes easy.

Wel-l-l-l-l, Almost.

I have finally discovered the key to happiness on a farm:

PLANT SWEET POTATOES!

Enter Exhibit A

I can proclaim that this beautiful bundle of goodness came about almost effortlessly.

The amazing part of it all, is that this came from one little potato eye that grew 

a slip on a sweet potato that I kept around to see if I could grow some... as an experiment.

One. little. slip.

I KNOW!!!

Incredible, no?

INCREDIBLE!

YES...!

I planted it and did nothing for 120 days, except give it a drink every now and then.

(Now I know how a fisherman feels pulling up that prize fish...with a,  

"Look what I did" gratifying smirk on his face when the fish was the one doing all the work!)

No lie, it was an exhilarating surprise hiding under that mound of dirt!

Not only did I squeal with joy at the amount, but check this out;

Sweet potatoes are full of fiber, Vitamin A and a slew of other nutrients and minerals, not to mention pretty low in calories.

As they cure, the sugar content increases...how can you go wrong here?

"Hi De Ho, Hi De Hi, Gonna get me a piece of the sky!"