Don't cluck over $4 a dozen...

"You need chickens on your farm. 

 It will be so much fun and think of all the free fresh eggs!"

This is me having a argument conversation with myself.

...after I had already decided that paying $4.00 a dozen for
organic free range eggs was a deal.

Too bad I didn't take my own advice.

I'm learning it will cost me an arm, a drumstick,
and then some,
to literally start from scratch.

Chicken scratch.

According to my calculations, I will break even sometime in the year of 2042.

(My mortgage doesn't have that longevity, and I may not, either.)

Our six chicks are ready to call Le Farm their "maison de retraite" this week.
They can't be any bigger than a large frog, but in order to raise them organically
and adequately protected from varmints, it will cost you.

We started with chicks so they would be brought up sweet,
and used to every two or four-legged creature.
(Visions of Tippi Hedren with her eyes plucked out gives me nightmares.)

And, they already have French names;
Genevieve, Margueritte, Bridgette, Juliette, Claudette and Yevette.

Will it all be worth it?
Maybe not,
but now Le Farm will seem incomplete without
our six French hens,
an antique egg basket,
a fleur-de-lis weathervane on top of the chicken coop,
and a partridge in my pear tree.


Ce la vie!

The first cut...

Some time ago, I wrote a emotional post on pruning.
And, it started like this:

"Pruning is a necessary evil if you have a green thumb.  No one likes to mention it since it is a lot of work and makes your plants look like crap, but it is necessary for growth..."
See: http://lefarmcountryfrenchproduce.blogspot.com/
2013/03/make-overs-on-farm.html

Back then, I was a nymph and I hated pruning; 
or at least the thought of it and the massive destruction and devastation 
it left in its wake.
My blueberry and blackberry bushes were at the peak of production.  
I worked too hard to make those little money makers grow!

Now, years later, I have grown up,
 and completely changed my mind on the subject.

Completely. Utterly. Changed.

As a matter of fact, 
I now believe, pruning is one of the very best acts of kindness you can do.
"The first cut is the deepest hardest"...

(For the record, Rod Stewart's version is by far the best.)

It is consistent with the principles of sustainability.
It's right up there in importance with being a good steward of the land.
It is "The Regulator of all Regulators" on a farm.
It is an art form.
Bravo!

I'm just gonna say it....
"It is f*cking AWESOME!"

Everything that is pruned (if done properly and at the right time), 
grows back healthier, stronger, and better equipped to fight disease.

I am still amazed, time and time again, at the results.
It is as if I can't believe my own eyes.

Ok, 
Back to the important stuff...

In fact, without pruning, a fruit-bearing plant will eventually stop producing all together.  
It may take years to do this, but ultimately spindly, 
weak branches replace the healthy growth, leaving it more susceptible to disease, 
and production will diminish, or even cease.

If you don't know what you are doing but know you need to start pruning,

 YouTube has a wealth of knowledge to share 
and seeing it done is extremely helpful.

Take this expertly done video on blueberry pruning:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6ZfpGy5oQ

What a fine example of when and how to prune.

I have mastered the art of  "reading" my bushes after all these years, 

knowing when and how much to cut back.  

You learn.

Speaking of that, right up the road from Le Farm, in Bishopville, SC.,

lives a famous modern day "pruner".  
His beautiful handiwork is displayed for all to enjoy.  
Tucked away down an unsuspecting residential street, 
you'll stumble upon his collection of
whimsical  maddness mastery.
And, you can see a glimpse of it scattered throughout the tiny town.

If you don't know about him, you need to check out the

utter fabulousness of Pearl Fryar right here;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcYaZCOCMBg

I bet if I asked Pearl he'd agree with me 100%.

Pruning, is where it's at.

Don't be afraid to try it.
And,
you may even earn f*cking yard of the month.

The new normal...

 "Beauty, is only skin deep."

I heard that a lot as a preteen, when permanent teeth, bugged eyes and a pouty lower lip were way too big for my head and my lanky, skinny self weighed all of 68# in seventh grade.
(Twiggy was full-figured compared to me.)
 
 Yep, that beautiful exterior is a trap.
We all fall into it from time to time.
It's only human.

I eventually outgrew that awkward stage that lasted way too long, but a few days ago
I found myself drooling over something that looked so damn pretty I wanted it.

I really wanted it,
and my brain never skipped a beat as it exclaimed, "Doesn't that look good!"

"That" was a quart basket of super sized , sweet, juicy, deep red strawberries.
They were fresh off the farm in a world class southern plantation farm store.
(I even bent down to catch a quick whiff,
and they smelled just as good as they looked.)

It took everything in my all organic farming being to, "Just say, NO!"
 I knew better...
 I know better...
Reprogramming "the new normal" is tough.

Those gorgeous strawberries were a fake Fendi. 

Residual analysis has tallied 54 different chemicals on those beauties, consisting of
known carcinogens, hormone disrupters, neurotoxins,
development and reproductive disrupters and honeybee toxins.
http://www.prevention.com/food/healthy-eating-tips/strawberries-contain-large-amounts-chemicals-and-pesticides

Strawberries are one of the fresh or frozen fruits to avoid, UNLESS you can buy organic.

Now, you know better, too.

Boycot the new normal,
because it is anything but normal.

Been waiting a lifetime...

As far back as I can remember, I have dreamed about being a farmer; glamorized the thought, actually.  The intoxicating scent of dirt in my hands, a wind-blown healthy glow on my face, and fresh country air in my lungs...this was my passion of passions. 

Had I had enough money or the smarts to land a scholarship, I'd have chosen Cornell University, hands down, back in 1975 and majored in agriculture.  I was lucky to walk the Cornell campus in awe, once.  Those beautiful ivy covered buildings stood as a holy temple of all things good and wholesome, releasing class after graduating class of savvy farmers who not only held the knowledge to feed the world but executed it with Ivy League style.  

...I was inspired there. 

...I felt whole there.  

...I could be completely me there.  

YES!

Umm,...No.

It never happened.  No money and even less brains squashed any hope.  I settled on SUNY @Buffalo and graduated with a B.S. In Laboratory Science. (Don't ask me why, for I have no clue myself how I got talked into taking my big sister's advice on a career choice,  "just because I liked science.")

Thirty-three years later after getting sidetracked, I pulled my dream together and finally bought a small farm.  I gardened for all those years, but it was nothing more than a glimpse of real life on the farm.  Boy oh boy, have I gotten an education. They call it, " The School of Hard Knocks".

Because I bought a place with hundreds and hundreds of blueberry bushes, I instantly became a blueberry farmer.  Since then, I've learned a few things about blueberries...and a lot about myself.

The journey has not been glamorous, in the least, but my desire is more alive than ever.

...I am inspired here.

...I feel whole here.

...I am completely me here.

YES!

2016 is my year to be a farmer full time, as I plan my retirement from my career in laboratory science.  I still want it as much as I did all those years ago. Maybe even more.

The intoxicating scent of dirt in my hands, a wind blown healthy glow on my face and fresh country air in my lungs are real, and no longer just a dream.

It is my passion of passions. 

Bonne Annee!

Happy New Year!

I do too much when "I Do"...

Boy, does time fly.

If I can make an excuse for having my last topic post almost a year ago, 

it is because I have been relatively busy. 

Yes, it's true that everything has a time and a season on the farm. 

But, I have a definite knack of trying to force it and accomplish way more than just that. 

(It's extreme enough to classify as a disease state 

when everyone is asking, " What's WRONG with you?!")

So, although way overdue putting "the pen to the paper", I came by it honestly.

1. Spring planting.

(Major wedding planning on the farm begins!)

2. Summer cultivation, picking and farmer' s markets.

(Major wedding spruce up inside and out on the farm... 

New paint because nothing can look dirty or old,

New railings for us old folks, 

New refrigerator because one isn't enough,

New lights because the old ones just weren't "cute" enough,

New tile on a perfectly good backsplash, 

New driveway for a fresh exterior facelift.

(...should have gone with getting the Botox 

instead of the one grand of rocks. It was a tough decision!)

New ornamental garden after the Lowes driver ran over the existing one,

delivering the new refrigerator.)

3. Fall harvest, weeding and replanting.

(Major work orchestrating and pulling off a September wedding. And, it was lovely!)

4.  Winter Spring cleanup and garden expansion before planting.

(That is no typo.  Time flies, but Winter has flown the coop this year.

79 deg F, blueberries confused and blooming, way too much rain...

In other words, "Spring.")

This second post of 2015, although eleven months too late, does one thing; 

it helps me make my first New Year's resolution.

"I do resolve to post in 2016...and live happily ever after."

Getting ready...

It will be here, in full force, before you know it.

It shows itself a little bit every day;  
in the earthy smell of the breeze, 
in the red tips of the blueberries, 
in the change of the length of days.

 Le Farm is welcoming every subtle shift.  

It is the epitome of transformation.

It is Spring.

A late winter sunrise on Le Farm

Twelve months of busy farm life....

So...

Everyone knows,
who knows about farming,
knows that there is no rest
for the weary for a farmer.
Even with everything I've accomplished,
this past year has really flown by,
so I thought I would share exactly what it is
that I do here on Le Farm, from month to month.

January and February...  

This is my only chance to do major work outside, 

without having to douse myself in DEET.  

(I hate the stuff, but I literally would be just bones 

with itchy, bloody flesh hanging on them without it.)

 (Dead serious.  I would be seriously dead.)

This winter work involves pruning blackberries and blueberries,
pruning an acre of grapevines (and to exercise sustainability I
make wreaths and spheres from the vines),
digging new garden space and planning the garden for next year.

Did I mention that seeds need to be started now? 

And, I have to be very diligent to keep them warm.

Good luck. HA!
(Insert a very snide giggle here, unless you have a heated greenhouse, you lucky, lucky dog.)

March...

The ides of March made a mark on Roman history

with the assassination of Julius Caesar... 

or the movie directed by George Clooney,

whichever you choose to remember.

I see it as a cleverly disguised impostor that always,

without fail,

brings a heavy, wet snow to the southern states,

destroying any hope of an early spring planting, 

unless it is one of the few cold loving plants 

that does not mind a thick blanket of slush, 

but also notoriously bolts as soon as the sun shines.
... a catch 22.

All I can do is wait.

Dream of spring... drink beaucoup amounts 
of red wine, 
green beer,
and wait.

April...

I never get too anxious early on, 

or I will pay the price and need to replant everything 
that took weeks to get grown and into the ground.
The garden has been sleeping under a huge thick blanket of mulch 
loaded up from my many leaves last fall.
Can't wait to see that beautiful black loam it produces.
Some spinach and lettuce may have survived the winter garden, but nonetheless, it is very sad to see them go.    
They can't survive the impending heat that forces them to go to seed,
so, I have to concede and say, "Aurevoir".  

A week past the last frost is a good bet for planting.

(I have to be clairvoyant to know when that is...another talent that comes in very handy.) 

But patience is a virtue necessity, my friend. 
This year, I built a high tunnel that weighed over 500 lbs, 
to extend my growing season.
I moved all the pieces 4 times;  from truck to gate, from gate to trailer, 
from trailer to ground, from ground to tunnel. 
(So, basically, I moved 2000# myself, who cannot even bench press 100#.)

May...

I have just a few weeks before the heat sets in 

to get everything in the ground.

(Btw...Get out the DEET.) 
Early blueberries have me hopeful.
They taste amazing and fool me into wanting to pick more.

I take the bait and become a picking fool, as sweat drips down my back,
and carpal tunnel sets in.

June...

Ahhhhh, June. 

Up to my gills in blueberries.
There's little time for anything else but picking and selling.
Believe me, money is a motivator.
(And, even as fabulously wonderful as they are, 
there is only so much you can do with blueberries
before you are really sick and tired of them.  Into the freezer they go.)

Blackberries also ripen now, and the window of opportunity 
to have my arms look like I have been the prime contender
in a cat fight shuts tight after a few short weeks.
(But, they sure are goooood!)

  

July and August...
As the dog days of summer arrive, 
the unbearable heat cannot be escaped
when you are in the garden every waking moment,
and ironically, 
my dogs choose to enjoy the comfort of air conditioning.
I pray for rain, then pray for reprieve from the mosquitoes 
that could carry me away...like Calgon.  
The garden is in full swing, figs came and went, and by now
I am getting ready for a break.  Can't take one, but I am more than ready.
I dream of snow and an arctic blast.

September, October, November...
The garden holds out until the first frost.  It turns brown overnight and is my cue to rake and pile mounds of leaves on top,  
to nourish it and keep weeds at bay without the need for tilling.
The winter garden is planted early September, after the high heat ends.
Germination needs cooler temps for spinach, lettuce, broccoli, cabbage and kale.  Mustard greens and turnips are sown, too.  
It really is amazing to have these crops all winter here in the south.
We former northerners are programmed to wait until spring for these beauties.

December...
Time to put up the 12 ft. Christmas tree
and get out the seed catalogues, as my mustard greens 
simmer on the stove.  
(And boy, those frozen blueberries taste like
spring again, on top of my morning crepes!)
Hmmm...Tonight, I just might pick some lettuce and spinach 
and make a nice salad for dinner.

Looking back, it is all worth it...the hard work all year long, 
to live this healthy farm life.

Yeah...I get tired, 
dog tired,
but it is definitely worth it.